Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
