It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
