She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize