Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
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Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
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No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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