Pants 0. Shit 1.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
