so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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