Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
