I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
