And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
