You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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