he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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