Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
