Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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