we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
