Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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