Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
even my farts smell like vagina
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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