return my video game
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
