Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize