and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
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Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
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He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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