is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
