I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
