Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
