you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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