You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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