i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
