yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
