when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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