Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
