Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
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