I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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