Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
