She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
