My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
