Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
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She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
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And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.