I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
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Just took my morning after pill in the library
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
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Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.