I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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