Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
