The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
i came on her dog
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
