You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
