and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
