did you get engaged???
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
