pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize
