It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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