So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
