You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
