Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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