We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
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