East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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