Only a mothe r could love this liver
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Randomize
