I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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