I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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