Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
porn star boner night. come get it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
