Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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