My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm at about main and main street
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
