i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
