You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
