Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
