What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
