His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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