I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
