I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
