peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize