I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize