Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
