hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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