no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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