I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
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