The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
