I want to stick my p in your. b.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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