He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
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This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
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I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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