Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
